I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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