new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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