I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
false alarm, still single
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