I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Damn victory sex feels great
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
