Joe is yelling at the trees again.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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