you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
