i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
