you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Farmville is her only friend.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
FUCK WHALES
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
