Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
