So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
