Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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