She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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