why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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