if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize