i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize