so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
