a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i think i just lost a toe
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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