I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
