How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
