I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
