When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
