sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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