he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
