I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
