I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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