It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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