he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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