yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
where am i from again
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
