is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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