...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
