I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
