you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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