things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
