White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
