I wanna passion pit in your ass
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The air was thick with penises
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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