Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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