Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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