She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize