Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
