I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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