so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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