we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Randomize
