i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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