there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
