i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize