yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
