chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I made him laugh his dick is mine
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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