Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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