We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
