He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
