I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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