Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
