We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Can Purell be used as lube?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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