he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
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I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
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You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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