i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
