Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
