508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
