Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
