It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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