You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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