It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Sorry about my life...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
