everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
