what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
