The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I need to calm my uterus...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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