I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
