was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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